Under Cover Boss
by Kickin' Kori Anders
Summary: What happens when Slade goes on Under Cover Boss for his own company? Some really jacked up things, that's what.


Okay, if you know what this show is, you'll get more of the jokes in here. If you don't, look it up on you tube. Okay, here we go Cus' it's Mario!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, or Under Cover boss or Electra or the Funk Flash Man (Yes, that's a real villain) or Ra's Al Ghul or the H.I.V.E or Invader Zim, It would be fun though! *rubs hand together evilly

UNDER COVER BOSS: Slade Style!

**The TV flickers from channel to channel until it stopped on CBS. A deep voice recited the opening as their audience squealed in utmost joy.**

"_**America is struggling to shake off the recession**_

_**Public distrust of CEOs remains high**_

_**But more and more Bosses are looking for radical ways to reconnect with their work force**_

_**In order to find out what's really going on in their companies**_

_**Each week we follow the boss of a major corporation as they go under cover in their own company**_

_**They will discover the truth on…" **_**The camera zoomed in on a sign that read in bold letters**

"_**Under Cover Bosses!" **_**Another excited squeal was let out as the narrator began.**

_**"Tonight we will be traveling to Jump City, California to help out the CEO and founder of one of the most famous and evil companies in the world, Slade incorporated. Their CEO is none other than Slade Wilson, the evil mastermind and founder of the company.**_

_** Mr. Slade has two…..loving children, Rose and Jericho Wilson who are both 15. He has been married twice, once divorced and once widowed. He came from humble beginnings as an American soldier until he was tested on by the government and then went insane." **_**The screen shot over to Mr. Slade who was dressed up in his black and silver armor and was armed to the teeth with all kinds of weapons.**

_**"I WILL KILL YOU ALL! Uh—I mean, I opened up this company back in the late 70's to simply offer my services as a mercenary to higher villains, like Trigon for example." **_** A Picture of Trigon with a mustache with an arm around Slade took Slade's place on the screen.**

** "Soon, I began to build up an army of minions to help me succeed at the hardest of missions. Soon enough, those little guys began to invent and socialize on their own and are now taking on jobs by themselves." Slade wiped where his eye would be" But since Terra betrayed and went and kilt me—they have been really a bunch of *beep* to me. I think they may feel, hurt because they loved Terra so. Now that I am back from the dead, I think I need to go undercover in my own company to…..help them." Slade rubbed his hands together.**

** "Yeah, he he, help them." Slade is led over to a cushy chair and makeup mirror where a makeup lady stands. She begins to put blush on his mask.**

** "**_**Now, Slade has to have a makeover, making it almost impossible for him to be recognized. He will be wearing a Kitten wig, blush, eye shadow, fake eye lashes, pink earrings and a blue and pink dress over his armor and from now on he will be-"**_**Slade stood up quickly and go in the camera's face.**

** "No! I get to pick my name! I will now be known as **_**Stella**_**!" The makeup lady raised her eyebrows at him, So Slade turned to her, pointed and shrieked "**_**STEALA**_**-A-A-A" then he ran off screen. The camera cut to another scene where Slade was calmed down immensely. They were driving in the bat mobile.**

** "Yeah, I stole this one from Batman, I just like to *beep* the bat family off. It was funny seeing their faces, he he. "The bat mobile pulled into a shabby looking building that had dim lights glowing inside.**

_**"The first stop inside Slade's company is the open grounds, where people order the company's services. When he gets there, he there he will become one of the messengers," **_**The screen cut to the inside of the of the shack where about 10 men dressed in a black mask with a copper circle in the middle and two slits for eyes. They all have name tags and cash registers on a black and copper counter that runs horizontal on the Shack. All of them have little paper hats on.**

**Slade, with his disguise and schedule waltzes in and up to the counter. It is empty of customers, but not of its workers.**

_** "Hel-lo?" **_**Stella**__**talks in a high pitched falsetto to keep his identity a secret**_**. "I'm supposed to talk to Carl and Bob. ….." **_**Stella stared at his tiny slip of paper in confusion.**_** "'Spike in my head?'" **_

__**A dwarfed man with the name tag that read Carl hobbled over to Sla- Stella with a taller man behind him and a name tag that read Bob. Carl stuck his hand upwards at Stella with a grin.**

_** "Hello Stella, I'm Carl, nice to meet you. Me an' Bob here will lead you through a tutorial—to make sure you are doing everything right." Carl **_**did check out Stella which was quite obvious since he was so short and had to move his head to almost at the point it looked like he was staring at the ceiling. Stella looks down on him with distaste.**

_** "Do ya' have any questions before we start?" Stella stared at her/his piece of paper, then at Bob and then back to the paper.**_

_** "Um, Bob is your last name 'Spike in my head?" **_**Bob looked panic stricken as Carl talked for him.**

** "**_**It's a nickname—you see, Elektra came down here and asked poor Bob-o here for about 20 men. When Bob rejected her money that was made out of wood, she got *beep* and attacked him. And now…." **_**He gestured to Bob who turned to the side to reveal a ninja star in the back of his head.**

_** "I've got a spike in my head, a spike in my head, a spike in my head!"**_** Stella stared at Bob for a moment and then shook his head. He—She, yeah she, turned back to Carl and asked.**

_** "OK, now what exactly do you do down here, Mr. Man?" **_**Carl smiled at Stella and led her behind the counter. Carl began to explain what to do,**

_** "Okay, our main job is to take people's orders, payment and special requests and to send them up the chain."**_** He pointed to the cash register.**_** "You take orders and cash there, then take a slip of paper, right down the order and who ordered it, and finally…" **_**He pointed at a thin slot in the wall**_**. "Shove it in there. Simple right?"**_

_** Stella nodded her head in understanding "Yes, I—"**_

_** "Wrong!" **_**Bob yelled causeing everyone in the room to stared at him**_**. "People are going to try to bribe you with all kinds of things—but stay resilient and you'll be fine. OR….. You could get a spike in your head, a spike in your head, a spike in your head!" **_

_** "O-kay, now you have a two hour shift before your first break, drink plenty of water because it can get hot down here because SLADE(Duh-duh-dun!) doesn't pay for air conditioning to keep us working. I'm on break, so I'll come pick you up when your shift is over. Bob will keep an eye on you." **_**Carl walked off with a wink at Slade little skip leaving everyone else on shift.**

** The first customer to come in went to Bob. He had a comb over hairdo and a beard that were both a light brown with gray streaks. He wore a new, dark blue business suit with black stripes and shiny black shoes. He held a lit cigar in his hand and smiled as he said.**

** "Hello, fine gentlemen I need your help," Bob raised an eyebrow at this man, though no one could see it behind his mask. "You see, I'm**** the Funky Flash man—the original leader of the very first Secret Society of Super-Villains! This weekend, we are celebrating our 45****th**** anniversary—so I'd like to hire some minions to celebrate with." Bob leaned over the counter and stared into The Funky Flash man's eyes.**

** "To do what?"**

"**To go and destroy the daily planet, flip off Superman and then go back into hiding." Bob relaxed as he pulled out a pen and a slip of paper.**

** "How many?"**

** "About 79, my good man." Bob looked up at the weird little man and reported the cost.**

"**That would be about 7,900$." The Funky Flash Man paid and Bob slipped the paper into the slot while wishing him good luck. Just as the Funky Fresh Man left, another customer walked in.**

**He was dressed in a high tech armored suit that was black and yellow with bee wings sticking out the back. He had a blaster in his hands as he walked up to Stella's place.**

"**The Queen requires an army of 200 men." He slapped a check on the counter." This should suffice for the payment." Stella stared at him for a moment then checked the check (AN's note: Get it?). As he wrote down the order on a slip of paper the solider for the H.I.V.E academy asked:**

"**Don't I know you from somewhere?" He stared at Stella while she panicked.**

"**Uh, no?" Then the solider came to a realization.**

" **Holy *beep*! Your—"Stella cut him off when she pointed to other side of the ware house.**

"**Bob, look over there!" Bob, who was staring at the two looked to where Stella had pointed. Stella quickly swiped the gun from the soldier's hands and shot him in the heart. He fell to the ground with a thump that was loud enough to capture Bob's attention.**

"**Dude! You killed him, and now Slade's gonna kill us!" Stella quickly shoved the gun behind her back and pointed to the sizzling hole in the middle on the dead H.I.V.E soldier's chest.**

"**No, I didn't, you see—he had heart burn." Bob stared at the body for a second, then shrugged his shoulders and agreed. And so the rest of Stella's shift went revival peaceful; serving customers and shooting the ones that knew him err…. Her.**

"**Later, after the Shift was over, Stella went out to lunch with Bob and Carl to discuss some things." The Narrorater said. Stella sat across the table from Bob and Carl who were devouring nachos.**

"**So… what do you think of this Slade guy?" Carl paused in the middle of his nacho fest.**

"**He his money-sucking- 11 toed- perverted-clown!" Stella scribbled on a notepad underneath the table and on the top it read '****People to kill or Maim or both'.**

"**Yeah," Bob added "And he is always calling us minions this, minions that."**

"**Yeah!" We have names, you know. I'm Carl," and stuck out his thumb towards Bob" and he's Bob!"They both let out an exasperated sigh and shook their heads. Stella smirked underneath her mask as he continued to quiz them.**

"**What about here at work? It doesn't seem so bad," Carl and Bob's eyes slots seemed to expand dramatically as they both yelled in unison. **

"**ARE YOU KIDDING!"**

"**Dude, there is no air conditioning, bathrooms, parking spaces or even freakin' chairs! How is it not bad! Plus, I've always wanted to travel to Australia, but I can't even take the weekend off!" Bob screamed, making waiters and customers stare at him. Carl lowered his voice to a whisper and lean across the table.**

"**We hate it here. The only reason we haven't left is because we can't any other job with this mask super glued to our face. He made us superglue it our beautiful faces!" Stella nodded his head to show her fake sympathy. They spent the rest of the hour munching and chatting about their lives while Carl unsuccessfully played tried to play footsies under the table with Stella.**

"**Next on the list of jobs to check out was the training center where new and old minions alike. Today Slade (Stella) will be meeting up with….really?" the Narrorater asked "He- She will be meeting up with the two main trainers, Gir and Robin- Slade's Ex –now-kidnapped-apprentice, Robin." **

**Stella walked into the training room which was cleverly disguised beneath an abandoned apartment building. When inside she was greeted by Slade solider with their lasers pointed at Stella's head which just annoyed her.**

"**Who are you and what is your bees wax here?" One asked. Stella let out a girly laugh and wiped his eyes.**

"**I—"He gasped "I'm Stella, I'm the new worker here." She-he batted her eye slots at the guards.**

"**Could you please let me in before I tear off your arms—I mean, call Slade down here?" All of the guards seemed to poop their pants as they ran off running and screaming and weeping**

"**Ahhh! Slade, please don't ca-all him!*SOB*" Stella smirked beneath her mask as she strutted into the huge, orange glowing facility. She walked for some time until he was stopped by a yell. It was quiet and at a distance—at first, but soon grew louder.**

** "!" A green little dog with rockets on fire coming out of his stubby little legs crashed into Stella—taking them both to the floor. The little green dog then tried to eat Stella's fist.**

"**What the *beep*! Who—no, what are you?" Stella managed to push this strange little creature off of him.**

** "He's Gir, my god awful partner and your trainer," Slade glanced up to see a very agonized looking Robin A.K.A Slade's apprentice. Stella rolled her eyes at Robin as she stood and brushed herself off.**

** "You, must be Stell—" Robin's mask widened. "Oh *beep*! It's-it's-"Robin was cut off by Slade who screamed and pointed at Robin.**

** "Gir, he's a taco!" Gir jumped into the air and blocked out the light flowing from its bulb as he attacked Robin. There was a squelching sound, and then there was only Gir and Stella standing there with smiles on their faces.**

** "Don't worry, Robin; you'll be out of there 4 to 6 hours." Screams could be heard coming from inside Gir's stomach. Stella turned to Gir and asked.**

** "So…. Wanna go train now so you can go ship me off to someone?" Gir nodded and then ran off down the hall way laughing hysterically. The rest of the day, Slade learned Mok'bara with Gir, something that he learned when he traveled with Zim before he traded him for a Slade minion.**

** "Now, Slade is going to go home to his loving family and tomorrow, reveal who he is. Now, I'm going to get some aspirins, I've got a head ache from this episode." **

**The camera pulled over to Slade, who looked happy. "I'm glad I went into the company; there are a lot of people to kill—uh, help and things to change. I just can't wait! That's why I'm going to use Warp's time traveling suit to bring me to tomorrow." He changed into the suit and the world found out that Slade has underwear with Starfire on them.**

**There was a flash, and the night had passed and now Slade was sitting in front of Bob, Carl, Gir and a tied up and duck taped Robin who was wiggling furiously. Slade smiled at them, and greeted them like an old friend while the rest pooped their pants.**

"**Okay, I've brought you all here today for a very important reason;" He leaned in " imagine me with a dress, make up and a blonde wig on." Everyone stared at him and then gasped in horror.**

"**!" Slade smirked.**

** "That's right, it's me Stella. Thanks to the crew at Under Cover Boss and you being completely oblivious to the cameras that were following us around, I successfully went undercover in my company and now I know what to do to make it better!" He first turned to Bob.**

"**You told me you always wanted to go to Australia, but couldn't even get the day off." He pointed to the door." Your chance is right out there." Bob wiped his eyes and thanked Slade and walked out the door.**

**Everyone stared out the window as Bob was attacked by robot minions, and carried to a large catapult. They put him in and cut the rope, sending his body flying. He his body flipped and turned and flopped in the air as it traveled. **

**A few minutes later in Australia…**

**Bob flopped down on the dry and tanned ground at the feet of a woman with a pen and notebook in hands. Her note book read on the cover '****Kryalla Orchid'. She jumped back in shock and screamed "What the *beep* is that?"**

"**Let's get back to Slade…. OMG!" Slade was cackling as Carl ran around screaming because he was on fire, Gir was doing a victory dance with a new name tag on him that read 'Assistant CEO' and Robin had lip stick marks all over his face as he shook with horror. At his feet was a Starfire wig and some lip stick.**

"**Those poor people… oh, we're back on? Oh, um… Since then, Carl and Bob have disappeared off the map, Robin has not escaped, but he now is accompanied by the rest of the titans. Gir accentually blew up his facility but then he was promoted by Slade again for doing that. And they all lived happily ever after. "**

"**Next week, the tallest take a good look into the inside of their empire on…**

**UNDER COVER BOSS!" The TV flickered off and Slade turned to the horrified, tied up Teen Titans and bounced up and down.**

"**So… that was my episode!" Robin and Raven's eye twitched, Beast Boy puked all over himself CY's head exploded and Starfire wept.**

"**I never even knew that such underwear existed..." Starfire said "such an evil one!" Slade just ignored them and squealed and said**

"**Now, you get to watch my movie!" All of the Titans groaned.**

**Now, I have a few things to say.**

**One: I am very, very, very, very sorry about written in the Stars. I am just going to focus on that for now. I've had writer's block and I've been a wee depressed, but writing this got me back into the swing.**

**Two: If you guys can, read what I have on Alice so far or maybe just my compition thing I have going on right now. **

**Three: THXZ!**

**KKA**


End file.
